Did you know that the structure of a good Introduction and Conclusion make the shape of an hourglass?
In our recent post on How to Teach TOEFL Writing Question 2, we taught you how to help your students score big on the opinion essay task. Now we’re going to look more closely at teaching tips for crafting the perfect introduction and conclusion to round out the essay.
First up…
The Introduction
A good introduction progresses from general to specific, and should consist of 3-4 sentences.
What do we mean by general to specific? The visual looks something like this:
Sentence 1 – a broad statement on the topic (just say something!)
The first sentence should be a broad statement on the topic. There’s no need for the writer to state their argument just yet—that will come later on in the final, or thesis, sentence of the introduction. This first sentence doesn’t need to be terribly profound; it just needs to introduce the topic in a general way. And honestly, my strategy is to push students to get this first sentence out of the way quickly to avoid that “where do I even start” paralysis. Let’s use this prompt from the previous post as an example:
Ok, the prompt is about mobile phones and text messaging. So for the first sentence, students just need to say something about phones or texting. Once they get this first sentence out the way, they’re over the initial hump and can start to build momentum.
Example of Sentence 1: Mobile phones have undeniably changed the way we communicate.
Keep in mind that it’s better not to use the first person but to keep the wording very general. A good tip is to have students take the topic of the prompt and make that the subject of the sentence.
Sentence 2 – giving an example (prove it!)
Now. Here’s the thing. One of the most important rules for a successful TOEFL essay (or any argumentative essay, really) is that any time you make an assertion or a general statement, you have to follow up with WHY. It’s essential that you train your students to do this. Even a statement as broad and obvious as “Mobile phones have undeniably changed the way we communicate” has to be followed up with an explanation or an example.
I always tell my students to imagine that whoever is reading their essay is either not very bright or a jerk who likes to argue, and so they should be ready to respond accordingly in the next sentence. For example:
Mobile phones have undeniably changed the way we communicate.
Not very bright reader: “Huh? Why? I don’t get it.”
Mobile phones have undeniably changed the way we communicate.
Argumentative jerk reader: “What? I don’t think so! Why on earth would you say that? Prove it!”
So, if Sentence 1 is a broad assertion, Sentence 2 has to answer that “why?” question with an example that proves the assertion.
Mobile phones have undeniably changed the way we communicate.
Example of Sentence 2: In addition to making phone calls, we can now send and receive text messages no matter where we are in the world, whether on the bus to work or on vacation across the country.
Not very bright or argumentative jerk reader: “Oh, that’s true. I guess you’re right.”
This backs up the assertion in Sentence 1 with examples. Mobile phones have changed the way we communicate BECAUSE … we can now send and receive text messages no matter where we are…
Sentence 3 (optional) – getting more specific, or another example
There are a couple of options for sentence 3, but either way, this is where the writer needs to start getting more specific and setting up the final sentence of the introduction, which will be the thesis statement.
Sentence 3 can either give an additional example proving that first broad assertion:
Example of Sentence 3 (version 1): In the past, we would have to wait days to receive a letter or postcard, but now we can text a message or a photo in seconds.
OR it can set up the opposite point of view, which the next sentence (the thesis) will then refute.
Alternate example of Sentence 3: Some argue that the ease of this type of communication makes us lazy.
Now the paragraph is all set up for…
Sentence 4 – the thesis (the main event!)
This is the most important sentence in the whole essay. This is where the writer states their opinion on the topic, taking a clear position they will then support in the following paragraphs. This is the most specific sentence of the introduction; each previous sentence gradually leads up to it, just like the picture above makes the shape of an arrow pointing to the thesis.
Example of Sentence 4 (version 1): While some may argue that texting pictures and abbreviations has made us lazy, I believe that texting is a useful and convenient way to communicate for several reasons.
Alternate example of Sentence 4: However, I believe that texting is a useful and convenient way to communicate for several reasons.
The body paragraphs will then follow based on the brainstorming students have done before starting to write their essay. If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, see this post.
The Conclusion
The conclusion is essentially an inverse of the introduction. It progresses from specific to general, beginning with the re-statement of the thesis sentence.
Sentence 1 – the thesis again, in different words
This can also include a mention of the reasons given in the three body paragraphs (also in different words).
Example of Sentence 1: All in all, texting is a convenient method of communication for both the sender and receiver, and it makes important information efficient to convey and effortless to store.
Sentence 2 – get a little more general, or tell people what to do
There are a couple of options here. First, Sentence 2 can re-state the reasons in the three body paragraphs, if this hasn’t already been done in Sentence 1.
This sentence can also make a general recommendation about what people should do, based on the writer’s argument.
Example of Sentence 2: We should continue to use this technology wisely to deliver our messages as easily and respectfully as possible.
Sentence 3- nice-sounding broad statement (…and the world will be a better place!)
I love to think of this final sentence as the cheesy “…and the world will be a better place” wrap-up. At this point, if the student has followed your TOEFL writing advice by developing a clear thesis and supporting it through well-organized body paragraphs, there is no way this final sentence is going to make or break the essay. So why not have a little fun with it? I advise my students to tack a general, Disney-caliber recommendation onto the end of the essay and just be done with the thing.
Example of Sentence 3: By using this technology to our advantage, we can spend less time working out how to deliver the message and put more thought into the message itself.
Cheesy, right? Definitely. But at this point, we just want to end on a nice-sounding note and close the essay out gracefully. Just warn your students not to bring in any new information or reasons in this final paragraph—the conclusion should only wrap up what’s already been argued in the rest of the essay.
And that’s it! Want a nice visual of the introduction and conclusion “hourglass” for your classroom? Download it here.